Smart technology has the potential to make us more connected than ever and this can be seen in many different ways from how we are able to communicate online, how easy it is to text a friend even if you don’t know what they look like, how efficient our phone networks are when searching for answers to questions of any topic, how well we are at finding an answer in less time compared to typing into Google, or how much faster our digital assistant Alexa can help us in just one question.
To illustrate how powerful and beneficial these features are, let’s look at some example scenarios of how this type of technology can be used. For example, consider that you have a new relationship. You met on the dating app (you had no prior experience) and now you are using other apps to find out what else your date likes and dislikes like.
Maybe you also use a dating site “dejtasmart.se” so you can match with people in real life. The more apps you download the better you become at getting to know other people. Once you meet someone on another app, they will go through a bit of verification process as well as you may have to show them some of their photos or videos.
Their information to do so will be stored somewhere but they take the time to verify everything. After all, you want to trust this person on who they are and so you decide to message your date (or maybe talk to them again). They have replied saying “great day, thank you for checking me out. Hope to see you soon.” Your goal may be to reply back and say something along the lines of, “I wish I knew you were going to be happy like you said and we can plan a future together.”
However they do not respond, and for the next few hours a lot of information has been thrown around about you, which could potentially put the friendship in jeopardy. So how would you react to this? How well could you understand someone who doesn’t speak English? When you feel like responding to them, how long you think you will have to wait before receiving a response.
You would feel like you are not hearing back soon enough which may be because they did not reply even after several hours of sending messages to each other. As for your date’s response, would they say anything? Would they say anything they could say in English? Why would you be okay waiting such a long time to receive a response?
All of these things could happen and it may seem scary having someone check on your relationship. But ultimately, what would happen to the friendship if the two of you remained silent? We cannot keep the ones we love for more than a few days, we need to give ourselves and others more time and patience to get to know them. Letting yourself be alone with your thoughts and feelings for a single day without feeling stressed over a quick reply or a conversation is what this concept makes sense.
The key word here is slow. If we truly love someone, we should accept the gift of being with them. Even if it is too short, we should give ourselves the ability to do so much more and to spend that extra time with ourselves as individuals. This is how much time we can devote to others in order to have meaningful and great experiences together again. It’s important to remember that there is no right way to know and we shouldn’t try to force communication between us into a box based on a set expectation of things.
Instead, it’s best to allow ourselves to listen, even when it seems to be a little slow. In fact, there are times when this happens especially during social distancing! When your partner does something nice, say something positive. Or even just walk down the street with someone and you notice your neighbor’s beautiful building, you realize that you must step out of that house and appreciate its beauty because you are now spending lots of time enjoying something outside your household.
What matters is the quality of that experience. Try letting that time pass by for a moment without trying to fill every single detail of it with your own expectations. Make sure you focus on what you have. Don’t be distracted when a new thing comes up. Give yourself as many chances to enjoy the moments as possible. Take advantage of whatever time you have while remaining focused. When you come across someone and they start talking to you, try listening. Ask “What are you talking about?” If their story isn’t interesting to you, don’t try to engage with it. Then try thinking of something else. If this is someone you like, give them a chance to tell their story.
Most importantly, make sure you don’t rush their situation and don’t over analyze. Be patient and wait to hear what is being said. Listen to what they are telling you. And most importantly, be curious about what other topics they may be interested in talking about. Sometimes when you are stuck in conversation with a stranger, you might be tempted to push forward and start asking things.
However, this can be very harmful because you may have to force yourself to continue the flow instead of enjoying the silence in-between. Remember that there is no need for rushing your conversation at all. In fact, you should try to keep your mind as open to new conversation points as possible. Now, you are going to need to learn how to ask questions of people to better understand them. Again, try to stay at ease and be curious about what you are being asked.
Some questions you may be asked include:
Why do you move your car every day?
What’s really on your bucket list?
Are you happy?
If I’m meeting some friends over dinner, should I bring my mask, or should I wear makeup?
How old are you?
When was the last time you took off your shirt?
How old or young are you?
Have you seen my baby when he/she was growing up?
Do you have kids?
What are you doing today?
When were you last married?
Where are you living?
What’s the weather like/like you want?
Some may say that these types of questions are intrusive and that they aren’t necessary unless you want to make anyone uncomfortable. Of course, the whole thing depends on the specifics of the individual’s interaction with the person. But, it really helps us to stop worrying about the context, and it allows us the opportunity to have conversations with our dates of whatever age, gender, race or ethnicity. Not only does this improve how we interact with each other, it can also help us to better understand each other. A good human connection is based to this.
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